An Open Letter to Joe

Joe –

You did well so far this time around. Well, better than expected. As this is written, you may still lose both houses. It is only because we are comparing your performance to another mistaken prediction made by the hot air predictor class. But even if you do win, Joey, don’t let it go to your head. 

We have to face the music sometimes, even if we don’t like the song. So, let’s turn up the volume and hear that old Chambers Brothers tune, “The Time Has Come Today.”

You have been a worthy public servant for almost fifty years. You have contributed to the country’s welfare as much as anyone could have expected you to. You have devoted your life to us. And you’ve done that while suffering through personal tragedy – the loss of a wife and children. Lesser people would have withered. You grew. You are a remarkable human being.

I recite these accomplishments because there comes a time when even the strongest among us must concede that their work is done. Joe, your work is done. You created a litany of successes of which you should be richly proud, but your eyes need to be focused not on the where you’ve been. You need to focus on the exit.

Have you watched any Tampa Bay Bucs games lately? You know that they won the Super Bowl last year led by Tom Brady, the man all of football calls the G.O.A.T. – greatest of all time. But rather than hang up his cleats at the top of the mountain (sorry for the mixed metaphor), he came back for another season. Big mistake. He sucks now. Why? Because it was inevitable, because we all lose a step or two to Father Time. Tom Terrific tried to hold onto his job too long. He thought he was even more special than he really was. Tom Brady’s mistake has caused him to embarrass himself and has caused his team to suffer. It may even have cost him his marriage.

Pay heed, Joe, baby, if you try to hang on to your job too long, the stakes are infinitely higher than were Brady’s. Not the marriage part. If Melania is still hanging onto Donald, hell, you won’t lose Jill. But your mistake will hurt more than just a football team, it will hurt the country, and you know why. It will hurt the country because if you run again, you won’t win. And if you won’t win, guess who will. That’s right, either the Orange Menace himself or one of his equally demented acolytes. 

And that will be your fault, Joey. And the monumental harm that you will then have visited on our country, the country you served so well for so long, will necessarily erase all of the good that is now connected with your name.

Maybe you will understand better if I convey this message in Bidenspeak:

I’m serious folks. No joke. Here’s the deal. As my Dad used to say, “Joey, sometimes, the hardest part of a job is knowing when to stop, but it’s the most important part.” Please, Joey baby, give us a break. And that’s a fact. I really mean it.