What They Found

As this is being written, Attorney General Garland has applied to the Court to unseal the Search Warrant that he served on Trump’s little Florida house this week. We soon may officially know more about what the Justice Department was looking for. 

However, as a reward to you loyal readers of this Blog, we have already obtained a partial list of the documents taken from the house. It was prepared by one of the federal agents who conducted the search. The agent apparently left the document in the Men’s Room on his way out of Mar A Lago and we picked it up – a “leak” in more ways than one. (Sorry).

Anyway, here’s the list. Make of it what you will.

1. A collection of Burger King Cheeseburger wrappers with the nuclear codes written on them.
2. An edition of the 2018 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition with Trump’s Sharpie grading each from 1-10. (two pages stuck together).
3. A box marked “Covid Medications.” The box is full of Clorox bottles.
4. A note from Kellyanne Conway pleading with Trump for him to stop pawing at her and stop telling her that she has his second favorite Oval.
5. A box of name tags for Don, Jr., Eric, and Tiffany with a label at the top that says, “Please wear your own tag whenever you are with the President.”
6. A copy of the Paris Climate Accords with a note on top written with Trump’s Sharpie. It says, “Pull Out. The worse the weather is, the more people have to stay inside in my hotels.”
7. A note from Ivanka Trump pleading with Trump for him to stop pawing at her and to stop telling her that she needs a spanking.
8. An original version of Donald Trump’s birth certificate showing his place of birth as “Kenya.”
9. Pictures of Melania Trump in various sexual positions with Karen Pence; and
10. A note from Lindsay Graham pleading with Trump to please start pawing him and to please tell him how powerful he is..