The Voice of Rod Serling:
“What is an ideal? Is it the perfect or the best of the practical? Tonight, we offer you a tale of the ideal. You, dear viewer, can decide for yourself whether it is the perfect or the practical. What about America? What was George Washington’s ideal for our country? Here is one possible version.
A man named, “Harry” finds himself in the United States. He has left his native England because he couldn’t handle the job he had there. That job was being the Prince of England. The country where he now lives, our country, had fought a revolution to separate itself from people like Harry. Despite this, some 245 years later, Harry now turns out to be an elite celebrity in his former colony. He is interviewed on television by one of the most famous of all of American interviewers, Oprah Winfrey. And that show garners ratings approaching the size of Donald Trump’s ego. It is lauded by the critics, possibly because those same critics are employed by companies either owned by or soon-to-be owned by Ms. Winfrey. But, based then on that interview, Harry has been offered multi-million-dollar contracts to talk even more about himself.
That’s one version. But, viewers, how about this alternative answer to George Washington’s question.
(Scene: Inside of a typical office. Cluttered desk full of resumes. Man sitting at desk. His name is, Howard Carter.
Assistant (Entering the office): Mr. Carter, the next job seeker is here.
Carter: Thanks, Miriam. Show him in.
(Prince Harry enters the room.)
Carter: Have a seat.
(Harry curtsies and sits)
Carter: (whispering to himself)Curious start. (Now speaking to Harry) And you are?
Harry: Henry Charles Albert Dave Duke of Sussex.
Carter: “David Duke?”
Harry: Not at all.
Carter: Can I call you Harry?
Harry: In this country, yes.
Carter: Well, we are in this country. So, Harry, what brings you to this Employment Agency?
Harry: Well, sir. I need a job.
Carter: My bad. That’s why everyone comes here. Stupid question. It’s been a long day.
Harry: No worries, sir.
Carter: Let me look here at your resume. (he surveys the document) Hmmmm. Interesting.(Looking up)I have to tell you, Harry, I don’t see any prior job experience here. All it says it that you once were a Prince. Could that be right? Is something missing?
Harry: No, sir. Nothing missing. Being a Prince. That’s all I’ve ever done.
Carter: O.K. A Prince. And what exactly is involved in this “ being a Prince”? What job skills are required?
Harry: I go to places, and then I say hello to people and I wave at them.
Carter: This was the job? Going and helloing and waving? For this you were paid?
Harry: Millions. Plus, a couple of castles, servants and a lot of horses. Also, a really hot wife.
Carter: Sounds like quite a gig. So, why are you here?
Harry: I lost that job.
Carter: You lost a job that gave you all of that for doing nothing more than meeting people and waving?
Harry: I resigned.
Carter: (After a pause) I have to say, Harry, you don’t look like a lunatic. You actually look kind of impressive, especially with that suit with the all the medals on it. What are those medals for? How did you get those?
Harry: No idea. The suit came with them.
Carter: O.K. Now, if I am going to try to place you somewhere, I’m going to need to know why you resigned from your prior job.
Harry: The pressure was too much.
Carter: Pressure?
Harry: Well, you see, it’s a family business and my family wasn’t happy with how I was performing.
Carter: How do you screw up waving? C’mon. Watch me. (Carter stands and waves in every direction)See that? In college I used that wave at women in bars. Sometimes they even came over, and I hardly lived in a castle.
Harry: You have to know my family. They are very picky. A lot of things bother them that wouldn’t bother other people.
Carter: Like what?
Harry: Like if I asked for my favorite tea at 2 in the afternoon instead of 3.
Carter: Now that is what I call child abuse.
Harry: So, do you have anything for me? Look, I have a wife and a couple of kids. I’m desperate.
Carter: Let me think. I have some construction jobs. No. That requires skills that you don’t have. Wait, how about house painting? You know anything about painting?
Harry: I’ve had my portrait painted any number of times. Once by Lord Snowden.
Carter: That’s not really what I had in mind. I know. You said horses. Can you clean stables?
Harry: I just rode the horses. If any of the manure got on me, at least three servants would come out and clean it off.
Carter: So, we’re back to the waving stuff, I guess.
Harry: I guess.
Carter: I’ve got it. Let me make a call.
(Next Scene: The entrance of a Wal-Mart. Harry is standing just inside the door. A series of customers are entering)
Harry: (To each customer) Welcome to Walmart. (He smiles and waves)
We were right 