In this season of graduations, for the 76th year in a row, no one has asked me to give a commencement address. If someone had, this is what I would have said: “Graduates – First of all, do not listen to a word I am about to say. I speak today as a representative of the … Continue reading A Proposed Graduation Speech
Tag: politics
The Future is the Past
We thought it was bad enough that the MAGA’s wanted to take us back to the 1950’s. After all, that was when America was great wasn’t it? That was when America was king and when men were men, and women and “Negroes” knew their places. That, we thought was what MAGA wanted. Oh, baby, we … Continue reading The Future is the Past
It’s Gotta Be Somethin’
I know it’s gotta’ be somethin’ Riddle me this: assume you put a shitload of billionaires together and then turn them loose to make the rules for the country; and assume that the pick the billionaires you pick are the most avaricious, selfish bastards that “anyone has ever seen before”; but then further assume that, … Continue reading It’s Gotta Be Somethin’
Listen Again to Big Ben
The story is often told about how Big Ben Franklin walked out of the Constitutional Convention and was asked by a woman bystander what kind of government the people had been given. “A republic, madam, if you can keep it,” he is supposed to have said. That story is used to remind us how we … Continue reading Listen Again to Big Ben
Something Else to Worry About
Have you ever heard of the “Dark Enlightenment” movement? I hadn’t until I heard Van Jones mention it on CNN. There is a good article about it at https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2024/dec/21/curtis-yarvin-trump. I’m no conspiracy theorist, but this shit is scary. The fundamental premise of this movement is that American democracy is a failed experiment and must be replaced … Continue reading Something Else to Worry About
A Proposed Phone Call to God
Hello, God? Hello? Oh, God, is that you? I don’t hear a voice. I only hear something like a dial tone. Oh, that must be you, God. That must be your sound. Good. So, I called you because, as you probably know, it’s your time of year. This is when we’re all supposed to remember … Continue reading A Proposed Phone Call to God
The Drones Land
[VERY SOON, THE MYSTERIOUS DRONES CIRCLING AROUND NEW JERSEY WILL LAND. WHEN THAT HAPPENS, THE FOLLOWING WILL APPEAR ON EVERYONE’S SCREENS] “Breaking news!. After over two months of mysteriously circling around the New Jersey area, the unidentified drones finally landed today in Paramus, New Jersey. Our cameras are now aimed at the lead drone. There is … Continue reading The Drones Land
A Future Look Into The Situation Room
Let’s imagine that war has broken out in the Middle East. Israel, Syria, and Iran are all actively involved. Israel is readying nuclear weapons and so is Iran. It’s not hard to imagine. Here’s a guess at what would take place at a Trump Cabinet meeting called to discuss how to react. This would be the … Continue reading A Future Look Into The Situation Room
An Open Letter to Sen. Thune
Dear Senator Thune: It’s all up to you now. You haven’t always been a worshipper at the feet of Orange Julius. Not like a lot of others. But now, for some reason, hopefully good, those others have chosen you to lead them. Congratulations. Now here’s what you have to do – SAVE THE COUNTRY! President … Continue reading An Open Letter to Sen. Thune
Orange Popsuckle
Orange reigns down on us all once again. Whomever created this thing we call existence has released its latest production: “Orange Julius, Volume II, You’ll Be Sorry.” It’s hard to know exactly how to feel. To me, anyway, there are a whole lot of different emotions to deal with. In no particular order: Fear. The … Continue reading Orange Popsuckle
We were right 