We were all excited for the parade. Why not? The occasion certainly called for celebration. This was historic. A month ago, the blessed one, Our Beloved Donald J. Trump, was declared to be the King of the United States by both Congress and the Supreme Court.
It was now the fourth of July. King Donald had ruled that this day would no longer be called, “Independence Day.” It now was called, “Trump Day.” This was our first Trump Day.
We jostled with the rest of the crowd to find a place where we could get the best view of the parade. Just as we found a spot at the corner of Putin Avenue and Musk Street, the floats started passing by. The first one was very impressive – awe inspiring. It was enormous, must have weighed a ton – literally a ton. It was coming toward us. We could see now that it was being carried on the shoulders of hundreds of immigrants.
On it was a colossal image of King Donald, never looking better, with one titanic foot smashing the Capitol Building, its famous dome splintering into pieces. The other massive foot was shattering another building. We couldn’t make it out at first, but then a guy behind me said, “he’s breaking the Supreme Court building, too.” We recognized that he was right, and we all cheered lustily.
Then came an even bigger float. Again, the King’s image was titanic and stirring. This time beneath him were no buildings. No, this time he was straddling the entire globe, his hands clasped over his head in victory.
Oh, we all went bananas. How lucky we were to now be in the mighty hands of our Savior. But it wasn’t over. From somewhere music was being produced at a level that surely allowed it to be heard everywhere. A mighty chorus was belting out the words of our new anthem:
“We praise our Orange Leader
For him we fight, fight, fight
He’s the God of frauds and cheaters
What we thought was wrong now’s right”
As soon as the anthem ended and we lowered our hands from our hearts, giant skywriting lit the heavens. For one final time, the image of the King was above us and out of his mouth was emerging a single word. In big bold capital letters, it spelled out, “SUCKERS!”
We were right 