Hello, God? Hello? Oh, God, is that you? I don’t hear a voice. I only hear something like a dial tone. Oh, that must be you, God. That must be your sound. Good.
So, I called you because, as you probably know, it’s your time of year. This is when we’re all supposed to remember what you’ve told us -or at least what they say you’ve told us – that we should love each other as ourselves; that we should have peace on Earth; and that we should always buy low and sell high (Oh, I’m sorry. I often get confused between your rules and my broker’s.)
Anyway, things haven’t been working out very well. The peace and love thing? Not so much. And you know what? The place where you would think that the people would be following you the closest is the place where they are ignoring you the most. They even call it “The Holy Land.”
You know the place – the Cradle of Civilization and all that. Well, sir, they are reading your words, but not in a good way.
They pray to you incessantly but then when they get up off their knees, they go out and kill each other. And here’s the kicker, God. They do in in your name. Some of them say that they know you better than the others do. They say that the others who know you differently are wrong. The ones who think they are right then use that claim to do some pretty despicable things. They take the territory and repress the rights of the others. Often, they even torture and kill them.
And do you want to get a real chuckle, God? It’s not like just one side does it. They all do it and they all say that the other started it. I tell you, God, The Holy Land is like one big fourth grade class with deadly weapons.
Look, I know you have lots of stuff to do. Ruling the multi-verse is a pretty big job. The problems of one infinitesimal part of your Kingdom can’t take up too much of your attention. I was just hoping, though, that in this time of year – the one where so many of us sing your praises – you might just see your way clear to give us a hand. Send us a sign that so many of us have gotten it all wrong. Make it clearer to all of us that we are all in this together. God knows (oh, excuse me) I mean – you know that if we don’t get that message soon there may be none of us around to hear it.
It’s not like the people outside of The Holy Land are much better. So many of them fully support what goes on there, applaud its purposes and even supply them, on all sides, with money and weapons. And these are the ones who call themselves religious. The thing is, if you could do something to make the Holy Land people truly understand what you have been trying to tell us, well that will mean a lot more to the rest of us.
Just a thought, sir. Thanks for your time. Happy holidays.
We were right 