Both conventions are over. The only place in Chicago that had more bullshit in it was the stockyards. Everyone can recognize political cliches. You can probably list a dozen off the top of your head. Yet, at these conventions, those cliches are applauded and extolled as if they were Shakspearian sonnets. Hooray for being in favor of freedom! Yessir for wanting peace in the world! It’s something in the air, I guess – probably the bullshit.
It made me wonder what would happen if those same cliches had the same effect in ordinary life. Would this meaningless dribble be just as convincing in situations we face every day.
Here are some examples:
- Imagine that you’re a kid in school. The big report of the year is due. You promised to get this done at the beginning of the year. Of course, you are maybe half done, if that. The teacher approaches you. “Where is your report?” she demands. That’s when you come out with the cliché: “I’m doing the very best I can with the resources I have, and I have made substantial progress.” The teacher reacts the same way the convention crowd does: “Oh, wonderful. Fantastic. I promote you to highest grade.”
Never happen.
- Imagine that you are on a date. You really want to have sex with this person. You end up at the edge of the bed. Your proposed partner is reluctant. That’s when you come out with the cliché: “We must join together in our aspirations to achieve a truly united state.” The date reacts the same way the convention does: “Oh come here and take me.”
Never happen.
- Imagine that you get into a bar fight. The cops show up. After they pull you and the other guy apart, the cop puts his face directly into yours and yells, “What do you think you’re doin,’ fightin’ like that?” That’s when you come out with the cliché: But officer, you know, when we fight, we win!” He not only backs up, but he also devotedly repeats after you, “when we fight, we win.” Then he tells you, “Thanks for reminding me. Here, take my badge. You are a much better person than I am. Go and serve the public.”
Never happen.
So, here’s the point, if these cliches are recognized as unconvincing in real life, why do we let these kinds of things be convincing in elections?
We were right 