Predictions: 2022

Like so many folks do as the calendar turns, here are my predictions for 2022. I think a lot of them have a good chance. Which ones do you think are most likely?

1. Michael Strahan will have two more shows.
2. Steve Harvey will have four more shows.
3. Dr. Oz will be the candidate for the U.S. Senate in Pennsylvania.
4. Dr. Oz will lose the election when it is disclosed that he is only an image being manipulated by a man behind a curtain.  
5. War breaks out in Africa between Burkina Faso and Mauritania. Tens of thousands are being killed. There is very little news coverage of the event. Most outlets are instead busy reporting about Meghan Markle’s new pregnancy. 
6. Donald Trump, Jr. is indicted. Not for anything in particular, just for being Donald Trump, Jr
7. A new strain of Covid will evolve. It doesn’t cause disease. It forces those afflicted to eat out at local restaurants every night. A renewed belief in justice arises.
8. A combination of the country’s wealthiest people buy the White House. Not through political contributions. No, they just buy the house. The lease allows them to approve of the tenant. It then doesn’t matter who gets elected. This doesn’t change the system much. It’s always been up to them anyway.
9. The rules of soccer are revised. The players are now banned from using any part of their bodies to move the ball. As a result, the ball never moves. The fans continue to love the game. They can’t tell the difference.
10. Tiger Woods loses all of his arms and legs when one of his yachts runs into another one of his yachts. Two weeks later, he wins the Masters.
11. Michael Strahan stars in five more shows.
12. Steve Harvey stars in six more shows.
13. Netflix announces a new streaming series called, “This Is Just To Fill Time Between The Shit You Like.” It runs 23 hours a day. The other hour is Squid Game.
14. The Tampa Bay Buccaneers win the NFC Title. The NFL announces, however, that in order to make the game competitive and increase the television ratings, Tom Brady is not allowed to play.
15. In the interest of realism, a new Progressive Insurance commercial airs. Flo has an accident with a drunk driver. Progressive denies her claim asserting that they never heard of her. She is forced to sue. While the case is pending, she goes bankrupt.
16. The January 6^th Committee reports that Trump was responsible for the Insurrection. After the mid-terms, the newly seated Republican Congressional majority authorizes a separate Committee to investigate the investigation of the Democratic January 6^th Committee. Later, the Democratic minority forms its own committee to investigate the new Republican committee. Then, the Republicans authorize another committee to investigate the Democrat’s investigation of the Republican Committee and then . . . Well, you get the point.
17. Shaquille O’Neal goes door to door throughout the country saying, “Hello,” and then trying to sell something, anything.
18. The facilities where Japanese Americans were held during World War II are re-built. They are then used to hold anyone who is not yet fully vaccinated.
19. The second coming of Jesus happens. The Hebrew Messiah arrives a week later. The next day, Simon Cowell announces a new Talent Contest Show. It is called, “Who’s The Savior?” Jesus and the Messiah will perform miracles and vie for the most audience votes.
20. By the end of the year, Michael Strahan and Steve Harvey each appear on television fifteen hours out of every day. However, they don’t win a single Emmy. All of those awards go to Dr. Anthony Fauci who is the only person to have appeared on TV more often than they did.