Another Indecent Proposal

If the United States was a person, it could never get a car loan. The national debt grows so fast that a precise amount is impossible to capture at any one moment. As of this writing, according to the National Debt clock, it totals approximately $27,565,468,000,000.  I include only the last six digits as zeros because they change faster than I had time to write them down.  From the time I started to the time I finished copying the numbers, it increased at least $10,000,000. 

There are a lot of reasons for this. The Pandemic, of course, demands spending that would embarrass  a drunken sailor. And then there’s waste. There are the obvious examples and then there are some less obvious. The Pentagon operates over 170 golf courses. I love golf, but, hey. There is our refusal to impose reasonable gun control. That translates into dollars. Adding up the cost impacts of gun violence in terms of first responders, legal proceedings, medical treatment, lost wages, and long-term care, the total is $229 billion a year or $700 per person.

It’s foolish, though, to think that this stuff will change. Over 70 million “adult” Americans just voted for an imbecile to be the most powerful person in the world. No, we have to find another way. I think I have it.

Let’s have an annual lottery. There is very little that has more general appeal than the offer of a prize. And when the prize is enormous, so is the appeal. So, if the government sold tickets to a national lottery with a  fantastic prize, just imagine how much money it could raise. Would it satisfy the debt? Of course not.  Would it help? Fuck, yeah.

Now, of course, it would make no sense for the government to offer a monetary prize if the whole point of the Lottery is to get money to the government, not from it.  A huge money prize would raise more money than it would pay out, but the net would still not be enough to make a dent.

Given this problem, what can the prize be?  Here’s my indecent proposal. The prize must be freedom.  By that I mean that the winner of the Lottery will receive permission to do anything they want to do – one thing – without consequence.  No criminal charges. No liability. Not even any moral approbation because they will have done it in a patriotic effort.

The obvious question is: “ANYTHING”? You mean the winner could KILL SOMEBODY?” My obvious answer is, “YES.” International gaming revenue in 2019 was $152.1 billion and that was just to try to win more money. Imagine how much could be raised if the prize was freedom. Of course, foreign winners could only exercise their prize within the United States.

At first blush this may appear ridiculous.  It may also appear ridiculous at the second through at least the fortieth blush.  So, let me disabuse you of that view. Here’s what an unlimited license to hurt people will do. Ironically, it will make people better. 

My theory is that everyone has somebody to be afraid of. Everyone has offended someone, whether intentionally or unintentionally.  Some offenses may be pretty horrible. We see terrible injustices every day.  We see rapes and homicides. Those offenses could inspire the worst of all kinds of retribution. On the other hand, maybe some offenses, if not most, wouldn’t warrant murder as repayment, but those lesser offenses could inspire meting out lesser punishments. If you could, without consequence, what would you do to a horrible boss; or to your ex-wife’s divorce lawyer who took you to the cleaners, or to your lawyer who let him; or even to a teacher who unfairly makes your kid come home miserable from school every day.

The result of that realization in people will compel them to try to avoid the vengeance that the Lottery will allow. People may not be able to reverse the things they have done in the past, but they could try to make amends. They could also try to reform their conduct to prevent enlarging their circle of potential enemies. The result will be an explosion of kindness. People will see in everyone a possible Lottery winner. Imagine if you knew that everyone you met might someday be able to do anything they want to you. Would that change how you deal with them? Fuck, yeah.

Couple that with materially downsizing the national debt and you’ve got a winner. At least, I think so. And that’s my latest Indecent Proposal.