A Sincere Hearing

I’ve watched as much of the Amy Barrett hearings as I could stand. The insincerity on all sides was un-stomachable. 

The Republicans say that all they are interested in is a Justice who will objectively call ‘em as she sees ‘em. Sure. And Charley Sheen is only interested in frigid Amish spinsters. The Democrats say that they have no quarrel with Barrett’s religiosity, they just care about her legal views. Sure. And the Klan didn’t lynch blacks because of their color, it was because their necks fit the nooses.

And Amy? She says her deeply held beliefs will have no effect on her decisions. Sure. And Donald’s money had no effect on Melania marrying him.

I call this insincerity rather than hypocrisy because it’s worse than hypocrisy. I prefer hypocrisy. At least a hypocrite can be right half the time. 

So, this is what I wish each side would say if they were actually being sincere:

Republicans: We have a chance to stack the Court with people who will do what we want and we’re jumping at it. Why do you think we nominated this woman? Because at times she can look kinda cute? Not really, although that doesn’t hurt. You think it’s because we put a bunch of names of smart judges in a hat and happened to pull out hers’? That’s as likely as the truth of one of Trump’s tweets. She’s here because, like her idol, Scalia, she’s against abortion, against Obamacare, and she’ll put her thumb on the scale to tip an election to our guy. Welcome, Amy. Welcome to the team.

Democrats: Look, Amy, you’re one whip-smart person. Whoops, sorry, I’ve been looking at you for days now and whips have been running through my mind. My apologies. Anyway, here’s my thing. I wouldn’t vote for you If you were the second coming of Felix Frankfurter – whoops, “frankfurter” and “coming”, I didn’t mean it that way – my apologies. What I do mean is that I’ll do everything I can to prevent this lunatic President from now controlling the third branch of government. He already has two – he’s the President and he has these servile automatons in Congress at his beck and call. You’ve sat here for days and denied that you believe everything your life has so far stood for. Only a Trump voter would buy that crap. I don’t. I can only tell you, in terms that you understand, that if you wear those robes and you do what we all expect you to do, may God have mercy on your soul.

Why don’t they all drop the insincerity and tell us the truth. Maybe, like Col. Jessup in “A Few Good Men,” they’re saying, “You can’t handle the truth.” Sadly, they may be right.