Another Inspector General has bit the dust. This time it was the guy who kept the State Department in line. Before that was the removal of IG’s for Health and Human Services, Intelligence, and Defense. (Note: Is it IG’s or I’sG? I ask that because the plural is “Inspectors General” not “Inspector Generals.” No one need respond to this question because I’m sure no one gives a fuck.)
Inspectors General are our watchdogs. According to the Inspector General Act of 1978, Congress established these positions in order to “promote economy, efficiency and effectiveness” and to “prevent and detect fraud and abuse” in the “programs and operations” of federal departments and agencies. (5 U.S.C. App.3, Sec. 2(2)) (How about that citation, huh? 45 years of law practice weren’t a complete waste)
Does that phrase – “fraud and abuse” – sound familiar? How many times have you heard Republicans repeat those words while in their fetishistic trance-like prayers to lower taxes and limit government.
Well, now, their leader (and, sadly, our leader, too) has a new fetish – one utterly contrary to the Republican mantra. He wants to do away with those watchdogs. With each termination, his rationale is the same – he “has lost confidence” in them. Yeah, he lost confidence that they will kneel before his greatness.
Oh, sure, he replaces them. But, with whom? The State Department IG will be replaced by a long-time ally of Mike “Trump Supplicant” Pence. That guy will really work hard to root out the Administration’s misdeeds, won’t he.
So, what will be next? Will Orange Julius stop with just the removal of IG’s (I’sG)? Doubtful. Given his obsession with getting rid of people and his infatuation with celebrity, here is an imagined series of headlines for some additional potential banishments and the replacements he may likely name.
Trump Fires FBI Director. Today, President Trump announced that he has fired FBI Director, Christopher Wray. “I have lost confidence in his leadership,” In place of Mr. Wray, the President has nominated Clint Eastwood. In an interview with Fox News, the President said, “Clint has all of the law enforcement credentials that anyone could want in an FBI Director. Haven’t you seen any Dirty Harry movies?”
Trump Announces that Justice Ginsburg Will Be Replaced. Today, the President tweeted, “I have lost confidence in the judgment of Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg. We cannot afford to have a person on the Supreme Court who is so sick that we can’t count on her brain still working. I will invoke the 28thAmendment and force her to step down.” It is unclear what the President is referring to. There are only 27 Amendments. In a subsequent tweet, the President said, “I will replace her with the greatest legal mind in our country, Jeanine Piro. She was once a County Court Judge already. This won’t be that much of a change for her.”
Trump Replaces Secretary of Health and Human Services. The President tweeted today that he has fired Alex Azar. “I have lost confidence in Mr. Azar. In the middle of our carona thing, I want someone who is really in charge.” To replace Mr. Azar, the President has nominated Scott Baio. “Mr. Baio was very impressive as a doctor in ‘Diagnosis Murder.’ And, of course, in “Charles in Charge.” He’s perfect.”
Trump Replaces His Son, Donald Jr. In an astounding tweet this morning, the President said, “Don, Jr. is no longer my son. I lost confidence in his son skills. I have replaced him with Kim Kardashian. She will be a perfect fit. Now, rather than having a child who is a big ass, I will have a child who has one.
We were right 